Seeing Beauty From Tragedy

There are moments in everyone's lives when they learn about themselves. These teachable events can either be a good or bad thing. As we all get older, the more of these moments happen in our lives. In this blog post, I will tell you about a tragedy that happened in my life that ended up teaching me about myself and about life in general. My hope is that through telling my story, somebody will be encouraged.

When I was in preschool, I met this girl named Darby Emma Jones. Darby was a high functioning down syndrome kid who had been diagnosed with Leukemia two times already. Therefore, we both had challenges that we had to face. Neither one of us let our disabilities define us so that was something we had in common. Darby and I were instant friends!

As Darby and I were growing up, we were always singing along to High School Musical and Taylor Swift songs. We were also always playing at each others houses and having tea parties. Darby, along with several other kids with disabilities also loved to dance at a local dance studio in Huntsville, Alabama. Darby was in regular classes like me and did very well in them. Darby would constantly tell stories about going on adventures and you felt like you were there with her during it while she was talking. Anyone who ever knew her would say that she was a very creative person.

Darby had to endure a lot of treatments because she ended up having cancer four times. Things were never easy for her but she never shied away from her heath battles! Darby would always tell people to be brave like her and I still try to remind myself to do that sometimes. Everyone always looked up to her because of her strength and positive attitude.

Back in 2012, I had rods put into my back because I had really bad scoliosis. The surgery ended up going wrong when I got a staff infection in the last six inches of my back. I ended up being in the hospital for fifty-six days! There were days when I felt like I would never go home again! It was not a easy thing to go through.

When I finally made it home, I had to do my first semester of eighth grade homebound. During that time, Darby would frequently send me letters telling me that she was thinking of and missing me. Darby's letters encouraged me to keep improving as fast as possible. Therefore, I was encouraged to get back to school so I could hang out with my friends quicker. Darby's letters meant more to me than she could ever of known.

After Christmas break, I was finally released to go back to school. I was so exited to see my friends again! Darby and I would sit by each other on the bus and it felt like no time had passed! We would sing at the top of our lungs and talk about everything under the sun. I had missed that so much! These interactions made me feel more like a regular teenager again.

That April, Darby had another routine checkup since she had battled cancer three times before. Therefore, it was a regular thing for her. I wasn't scared at all about the appointment because I thought that she was perfectly healthy and that she'd be back to school the next day. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Her cancer had come back for a fourth time. Darby's doctors admitted her into the hospital that night.

A few months passed by and I was missing Darby like crazy! Finally, Darby got to come home for a break that July. I was so exited that Darby was able to come visit me for a few minutes! Darby could hardly walk and could tire out easily. All of her hair had fallen out as well. It broke my heart to watch her go through that but, I knew that she was a fighter. Darby was not going to give up that easily and I could see it in her eyes when she came over that night!

A few weeks later, Darby got to come home one more time for a break. Her mom dropped her off at my house for a few hours so that we could hang out together. Darby had so much more energy and she was acting more like the same old Darby that I knew and loved! We hung out and did what ever teenage girls do with each other. It was great to see that side of Darby again!

One point during that play date, Darby looked at me and made me promise to her that if she didn't make it that time, that I would still live my life to the fullest everyday like she did. In my fourteen year old mind, I didn't think that she would actually die because she was already improving. However, I promised her I would. As she was walking out that door, we told each other goodbye and that we loved each other. Little did I know in that moment, It would be that last time I would ever see my best friend alive!

That August, I started high school. Everything was going great! I was seeing my old friends and making new ones. I was also enjoying what I was learning. I was just wishing Darby could have been there with me. That was the hardest part for me.

That next month, I ended up making homecoming court for the first time. I would end up making it all four years of high school. Darby had won it the year before and won it again that year even though, everyone knew that she would not be able to make it. I remember standing on that field wishing Darby was on that field with me. I was always praying that she would get better soon so that she could be on that field the next year.

Two weeks later, everything started to go down hill quickly. Darby ended up going septic suddenly and because of this, it was suddenly a life or death situation. However, I knew that no matter what happened, the same old Darby that I knew and loved would never come home again. Finally, on October 28th, 2013, Darby Emma Jones passed away.

I didn't find out about Darby's death until the next morning. I was on the way to school and the bus driver goes over the radio and says, “boys and girls I just wanted to let you know that our sweet Darby went home to be with the Lord yesterday. She will be greatly missed!” All of the sudden, a waterfall of tears came out of me because I was absolutely devastated! When I got to school, all of my friends just surrounded me with love because they were also grieving as well .It was the worst day of school that I ever had!

We went to Darby's funeral that Saturday. There were so many people paying their respects that it was crowded! Everyone wore blue because it was her favorite color. I felt like it was all a bad dream. I wanted to just wake up and Darby would be there alive and healthy. However, I knew that wouldn't be the case.

After the funeral, the children's minister at Darby's church saw me sobbing in the pew behind her. She came over to me to give me a hug and told me that everything was going to be okay. To be polite, I thanked her. However on the inside, I was telling myself that everything was not going to be okay because my best friend was never coming back! I felt this way for a year.

The months following Darby's passing were very tough on me. I told God that I hated his guts for taking my best friend away from me and how I didn't really want anything to do with him. I still continued to go to church and pretending to praise him like what I thought a “good Christian” should. I didn't want my church family or anybody else for that matter, to see all of the angriness and bitterness that I was building up inside of me. I was putting on a brave face for everyone to see so they wouldn't see how my heart was shattered in a million pieces on the inside. This was the lowest and darkest place that I had been in my whole life!

Almost a year after Darby died, I was sitting outside one day on my driveway admiring the beautiful weather. All of the sudden, I felt the warmest embrace that I had ever felt in my life and I knew that it was God showing me that he still loved me. Even though I knew that I didn't deserve it! All of the sudden, I gave my life back to him and I apologized for everything that I had done that past year. God then told me that He was trying to do out of this tragedy. After I got out of my own bitterness or anger, I started to see the way that He was going to continue Darby's story.

The first thing I saw was that so many people who were encouraged to be kinder because of Darby's example. A few months after Darby's death, her parents Patrick and Valerie Jones started a non-profit organization where kids with disabilities can come and dance. This organization is called Darby's Dancers. It is starting to go world wide now and I know that Darby would be so proud of it!

I have started to open up about this dark time in my life now because I want my story to encourage other people who might be going through a difficult time in their lives like I did. I want them to know that they are not alone because they have a heavenly father who loves them so much that He will help them get through their situations like he did me.

God has been able to use both me and Darby's stories of struggles and triumphs in order to help people more than I could have ever imagined and I am so glad of that! Life is never easy however, it's not the situation itself that matters, it is how we rise up from the challenge that matters the most. I still miss Darby everyday however, I am always so grateful for the time that I was able to spend with her and everything that she taught me!

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrew 13:5, NIV).