Have you ever been able to lean on a group of people at a dark time in your life who were going through a similar thing? There are a lot of scary situations in this world that can be difficult to walk through alone. Therefore, I'd like to believe that God puts other people into our lives at the right time in order to lessen the burden of our struggles. Throughout my life, our family has had so many people who have supported us through thick and thin. In this blog post, I will talk about a certain support group that helped our family through many difficult years and the resounding effect those people had on our lives.
Back in the November of 2003, my dad was diagnosed with terminal stage four kidney cancer.At the time, my sister Hannah and I were only four years old. Dad's doctor's were not certain of how long he would make it. However, the doctors believed that he wouldn't make for too much longer based on the progression of the tumor. At one point, they told my dad that three years would be a long time for him to live and then later they changed their expectations to three months.
Once our family received the news of Dad's diagnosis, we were all devastated. Mom and Dad had two little girls to raise and they weren't sure if Hannah and I would have the opportunity to grow up with our dad. Many people have told me Dad told them that he just wanted to live long enough to see his girls graduate from high school. It was a very dark time in our family's lives. Little did we know at the time of Dad's diagnosis, that God would bring a whole support group our way soon that would help all of us get through the physical, mental, and spiritual challenges that cancer can bring to the cancer patient and their caretakers.
When Hannah and I were about six years old, Dad's oncologist invited him to visit a new Christian cancer support group that the doctor was helping to start up and sponsor. After some consideration, Dad decided to visit the support group and try it. Besides, Dad felt that the more he could talk to fellow cancer patients that were going through what he was going through at the same time, the better. The support group was started by a married couple named Dean and Diane Rolin who were recovering cancer patients themselves. The Rolins felt led by the Lord to start this faith-based cancer support group for the cancer patients and their caregivers as an opportunity to have a safe space to talk about what they were going through with each other and to also talk about their faith at the same time.
On all of the flyers that were passed out advertising for the support group, they always had the symbol of a cross with the cancer ribbon surrounding it. This symbol reminded everyone that even though the cancer journey can be a difficult and dark one, it is always important to lean on our faith to help us get through it. Faith was always the biggest priority in our Christian cancer support group. Dad realized that having fellow cancer patients to rally together with might make everything that he was and would be going through a little bit easier. Besides, fighting your cancer battle with other people versus fighting it by yourself is easier for sure.
For the first couple of months, Dad went to the support group by himself. After the first several meetings, Dad wanted the rest of the family to come with him. At first, I couldn't understand why he wanted us to come with him as well. Dad then explained to us that the group was for the whole family and not just for the cancer patients themselves. Therefore, Mom, Hannah, and I went with Dad to the next meeting.
When we first arrived at the support group meeting, I was overwhelmed with how many people were there. Everyone was so nice and welcoming which made Hannah and I a little bit more at ease with the situation. We were excited that we were getting a free dinner and dessert before the meeting started. Both of us were also excited that we were going to be able to sit by several other kids that were around our same age as well. Knowing that other kids were going through the same thing as we were made us feel less alone and that was a wonderful feeling. Besides, there were not many kids at school or church that we knew that had a parent that had cancer like Hannah and I did.
After dinner, all the kids would go to a smaller area to play with each other. Occasionally, an adult would come out to check on us to make sure that we were behaving ourselves and not making too much noise. Most of the time we all behaved ourselves together. However, there was one time when one of the kids brought their toy handcuffs and then proceeded to handcuff Hannah to a chair and then lost the key. Therefore, it took several of the men in the group to help Hannah out of those handcuffs. Thankfully, no one was harmed in the process.
Dean and Diane Rolin went out of their way to treat all of us kids like their own grandchildren. Therefore, they went to as many of our school, sports, and church functions as they possibly could. Also, when we all got to every meeting, they both would give us the biggest hugs and would make sure that we were keeping up our grades. There were also a few times that a couple of us would be in the hospital and they would come and visit us. The Rolins would also give us gifts on occasions because they knew that we needed cheering up. All of us kids always felt loved and cared for by them.
My favorite event of the year was the annual Christian Cancer Support Group Christmas party. The group would rent a fancy country clubhouse for a night. There was a huge and beautifully decorated Christmas tree in the grand ballroom where each family would take a picture in front of it. Then, we would go into the dining room where the tables had fancy white tablecloths on top of them. There were also other Christmas decorations all over the rest of the room. Everyone who attended the party also made sure to dress their best. All of us kids always felt uptown on those nights.
There was always a fancy dinner with a fancy dessert to go with it. I was always hoping to get the fancy chocolate cake and sometimes I did get it. After dinner, Mr. Dean would read the Christmas story from the bible out loud to every one. The Christmas story was the most important tradition for everyone. Besides, it was about the most important subject around the support group.
After the Christmas story, we would do some singing and caroling. A few times, the Rolins would ask Hannah and me to sing one of our church Christmas musical songs that they came and saw. There was one married couple that sang “Baby It's Cold Outside” several times and they were so adorable together. Every Christmas season and I hear that song, I can't help but think of them. We would always end the party by holding each other's hands and singing “Silent Night” without music. For some reason, every time we did this, everything felt right in the world even if it was just for a moment.
Even though we have lost several people in our group over the years, it does not mean that this is goodbye forever. Thankfully, since everyone in our group had faith in the Lord, I know they are in a better place. This also means that I will see everyone again one day. Don't get me wrong, I miss everyone in the group and will continue to until I see them again. However, I intend to appreciate the time that I do have with the people that are still here.
I thank God every day for everyone that I met in the Christian cancer support group. Besides, we all leaned on each other when we needed it the most. In the end, we all became one big family who just so happened to be going through the same thing. Our group made sure to laugh, joke around, pray together, and talk about faith with each other and not just about cancer. This made this cancer journey a little more bearable. If you have people that surround you during hard times, be grateful that you have them when you need them the most. Especially when you know that God has put them in your life for such a time as this.
“Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:13-16. NIV). “
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